I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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