last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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