You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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