I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
