the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
nutella sex= disaster
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
