So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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