his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Im part way to drunk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
