I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
