It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
