i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
