who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
