stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
