You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
