Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
