The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
