you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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