Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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