Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
