Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
