Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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