like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
