Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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