I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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