jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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