i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
