i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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