i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
