all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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