you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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