Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
