shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Panties = found
Randomize
