I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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