Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
