so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
