So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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