you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I understand Curling. That high.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
