she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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