We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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