i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
