We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
