You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
