My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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