She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
