Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
