remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
