I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
