We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
