my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
