you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
