Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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