no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
