is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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