i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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